Seriously? Nobody brought a towel? So, I guess we can use my Budweiser blanket. I mean, I don’t want you guys laying on the new deck. Jack just water sealed it the other day and it can get a bit tacky in the sun. 

Oh. Speaking of tacky. The towel thing isn’t even the least of my concerns right now. I gave you those swimsuits as a gift, assuming we would know better than to wear them all at once. 

Kelly, are you even listening?

Great, Kelly can’t even hear me. I am SO glad I invited my friends over to lay out on my deck, on my *collector’s item* Budweiser blanket, in the same goddamn bathing suits and listen to their CDs. Is that the Against All Odds soundtrack? Jesus Christ. Can you believe this shit, Chrissy?

Chrissy? Helllloooo?

Oh my god how stoned are you right now?

Girl, you got to get it together. What if Jack comes home and—you know what? I don’t even care. Get wasted all day. Get wasted forever. I’m going to read my book  for a bit before I have to take Spuds out for a walk. God knows Jack will never walk him. Ha. Men, right? Chrissy? Kelly?

sigh.